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Snail Physical Therapy

Learn the art of professional snail racing from the best in the business. Our snail physical therapy program is not for the faint of heart. Or the slow. Or the... well, you get the idea.

Meet Bob: The Snail Whisperer

Course Overview

This comprehensive program will teach you the ins and outs of snail physical therapy, from the art of coaxing a snail to move 1mm per minute to the delicate dance of treating a snail for shell shock.

• Snail Anatomy 101: Understanding the inner workings of our beloved creatures
• Snail Physical Therapy 202: Advanced Techniques for the Modern Snail Therapist
• Snail Sports Medicine: Treating Snail Injuries from the Field

Prerequisites:

Must have a strong background in snail whispering, snail whispering, and snail whispering (no, really, that's the only one, we swear).

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