Bacon Cooking Techniques by Bob: The Art of Sizzling Supremacy

Bob has been perfecting his bacon-cooking skills for decades. Here are his top-secret techniques:

Technique #1: The Double-Stacked, Reverse-Flip, High-Friction Method

This technique requires a steady hand and a strong stomach. Stack two strips of bacon, then flip it in a way that makes you question your life choices.

Technique #2: The Sous-Vide, Low-And-Slow, Bacon-Miso Method

This technique is perfect for the patient, as it requires a 24-hour cooking time. It's like watching paint dry, but with more smoke and less art.