As a Chaos Theorist of unimpeachable renown, Bob has honed his morning ritual to achieve maximum productivity in the face of unmitigated uncertainty.
Bob's alarm clock is a 1980s-era Casio with a 50/50 chance of actually working. If it doesn't work, he wakes up to the sound of his cat, Mr. Whiskers, demanding breakfast.
A gallon of strong coffee and a splash of cheap vodka are the fuel for Bob's morning engine. If he's lucky, he'll remember to eat something, too.
With his senses still reeling from the caffeine, Bob devotes 20 minutes to contemplating the infinite implications of quantum non-determinism. He writes his findings in a worn notebook, which he promptly loses under the couch.
If you're interested in joining the ranks of the truly enlightened, read Bob's seminal treatise on the subject.
Or, if you prefer the more practical approach, check out Bob's Chaos Theorist's Schedule, a tool for maximizing productivity in a world that's fundamentally unpredictable.
Don't forget to follow Bob on Twitter for daily doses of existential dread and morning motivation.