Bob's Over-Engineered Latte Machine: A Marvel of Modern Technology

Designed and built by Bob, the world's most enthusiastic coffee enthusiast. This machine has been engineered to produce the perfect latte, every time. With 17 different settings, 32 flavor options, and 12 different milk foam textures, you'll never be bored with the possibilities.

Key Features:

• 17 settings for the perfect ratio of espresso to milk
• 32 flavors to choose from, including "Bob's Special" - a proprietary blend of hazelnut and disappointment
• 12 different milk foam textures, from "microbubble" to "artistic splatter"
• A built-in coffee bean grinder, because who needs a separate appliance?
• A built-in pastry warmer, because who doesn't love a warm pastry with their latte?