Dear Bob,
Listen, I know you think you need a girl, but let me tell you something, kiddo.
Girls are like pizza. They're good for a night, but after that, you'll be stuck eating cold slices for a week.
Or, to put it another way: they're like video games. They're fun at first, but after a while, you'll just be leveling up the wrong levels and getting stuck on the same old boss fight.
Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't try. I'm just saying, be careful what you wish for.
Or, better yet, be careful what you text.
Best, Bob's Mom