As per our carefully-worded fine print, you are eligible for a refund only if:
But don't worry, we're not heartless. If you're not eligible for a refund, you can always waiver your concerns and sign on the dotted line.
Disclaimer: Our refund policy is subject to change without notice. Like, seriously, don't ask us why.
Or, you know, if you're feeling particularly lazy, just send us a snail mail with your request.
Two weeks from the day the universe ended. Just kidding, that's never actually going to happen.