Bethany P. Bottomsworth, Esq., is our fearless leader and the one responsible for our company's questionable life choices. When she's not busy micromanaging the world's supply of catnip or deciding which intern to fire next, she can be found sipping lattes and judging the employees' fashion sense.
Her accomplishments include:
- Increasing profits by 0.01% in the last quarter (a feat she's particularly proud of)
- Implementing a new "zero-tolerance" policy for employee happiness
- Firing the last three CEOs who tried to take the company in a new direction