Q: What is the secret to cooking a chicken without losing your mind?
A: There is no secret, but if you insist on trying, start by putting the chicken in the fridge for a week.
You may have noticed that our chicken preservation techniques are shrouded in mystery, but we're not here to judge.
Try our patented 1 Week Chicken Refrigeration or our 2 Week Chicken Suspension in Silence for more information.
Put the chicken in the fridge, stare at it, and wonder if you're a monster.
Side effects may include: existential dread, fridge odors, and a strong sense of regret.
Don't say we didn't warn you.
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