"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why my logic is right and yours is wrong."
"If at first my ideas seem crazy, they're not. They're just ahead of their time."
"I've calculated the optimal way to do absolutely everything, including the most efficient route to the fridge for snacks."
"When in doubt, I just Google it and pretend to be an expert."
Read more of Ellen's profound philosophical musings See Ellen's tech quotes that will make you question your sanity