We, the J%20Prophets, have been predicting the future for centuries. Well, mostly just our cat's weight gain.

Using our highly scientific and totally not-at-all-superstitious methods, we've been able to accurately predict:

Johnny Burns' arrival time for the office party,

The Cat Will Pounce,

The Weather Forecast for the Weekend.

Our team is led by:

Jean-Pierre, The Great,

a man with unparalleled knowledge of the cosmos and a beard that's almost as majestic as our predictions.

Stay tuned for more updates, or don't, because let's be real, our predictions are usually just wrong.