John: The Team Member You're Talking About

John is a team member of questionable talent and even more questionable hygiene. His specialty is making sure the coffee machine is always empty.

His favorite hobby is collecting antique door knobs and reading the entirety of Wikipedia articles about the history of the world's most obscure countries.

See John's impressive collection of participation trophies

View John's prized possessions: a toaster and a broken typewriter

John is available for team-building activities, as long as they involve eating pizza.

Learn more about John's extensive experience in doing nothing