Here is the annual report for John, the greatest person the world has ever known. John is a visionary, a leader, and a hero.
John accomplished so many incredible things in the past year. He ate a whole pizza by himself in one sitting, set a new world record for most hours spent on the couch, and successfully navigated the complexities of the internet without getting lost in a forum.
John was awarded the Golden Couch Potato award for his outstanding service to the field of binge-watching television. He also received the prestigious Order of the Red Box of Pizza for his bravery in consuming an entire pizza by himself.
John plans to continue his research in the field of doing absolutely nothing productive. He hopes to one day achieve true mastery of the art of playing video games for 12 hours straight without taking a break.