Top Secret Information Held by John the Boulder

We have it on good authority that John the Boulder, the most enigmatic of the boulders, has been holding a vast collection of secrets in his, well, boulder-shaped hands. These secrets are so secret that they're hidden behind a password-protected, laser-locked, triple-reinforced steel door.

But don't just take our word for it! Here are some tantalizing teasers: What's behind the door?, Boulder Photos, and The Secret Society all hint at the truth.

We're not saying that John the Boulder is a master thief or anything, but we're not saying he's not either. Maybe he's just really good at holding things?

Want more secrets? Try Filling out a Secret Request Form! (Note: Please don't actually send your secrets, we're just pretending.)

© 2023 John the Boulder, All Rights Reserved (or not, we're not really sure)

Random Secret:

The answer to the ultimate trivia question is... Pineapple.