John is our resident genius. He's been working on his doctorate in "Extreme Irony" for 12 years and has finally completed it. His dissertation, "The Paradox of the Selfie Stick," is a 500-page masterpiece.
John is an expert in the fields of Quantum Physics, Algorhythmic Sushi, and Advanced Burrito Making.
He's also an avid collector of antique teapots and a fan of obscure 80s pop culture trivia.
John's research interests include: