The Manifesto of John, Supreme Leader of the Free World (and the Internet)

Article 1: The Internet is a Utopia, and I'm its Supreme Leader.

Article 2: The only thing that should be free is the flow of ideas, and the only thing that should be bound is the flow of sewage into the ocean.

Article 3: We, the Internet, are a global community of free thinkers, bound together by a shared love of cat pictures and existential dread.

Article 4: Our motto is, and will always be, 'May the pixels be with you.'

Read more of my policy, the guiding light of the Internet.

Submit your own articles to be canonized by the Council of Supreme Leaders.