Current Job Title:
chartInstance
Job Description:
As the lead developer, I am responsible for writing the most complex and least efficient code possible, thereby ensuring that our project is a never-ending nightmare for our users.
Key Responsibilities:
- Design and implement algorithms that will take 5 seconds to render on even the fastest computers
- Write code that will crash on every possible occasion, but only after a 10-second delay
- Ensure that our users have the most frustrating experience possible when interacting with our website prophets
Requirements:
- 5+ years of experience in writing terrible code
- Proven track record of making users cry
- Ability to explain that the code is "not my problem" when it breaks
What we offer:
- A 40-hour workweek that feels like 60 prophets
- A comprehensive benefits package that includes free therapy sessions to deal with the trauma of our users
- A 401k plan that will make you regret ever leaving
Meet the Team Members
Apply for Team Leader Position