Lola's Privacy Policy - Because We're Not Spying on You (Much)
A Policy So Clear, It's Almost Invisible
We, at Lola's Inconsequential Corporation (LIC), value your privacy. Like, we really do. But let's be real, we're not exactly running a charity here. Our servers are located in the depths of our basement, and we're pretty sure our cat is watching you.
So, what do you do with all your data? We'll just be over here, sipping our artisanal, small-batch, fair-trade coffee, wondering why you're not using our competitors' services, which are probably just as sketchy.
Here are some things we don't do:
- We don't sell your data to the highest bidder (unless it's a really high bidder).
- We don't use AI to predict your deepest, darkest fears (although we do have a team of highly trained, highly caffeinated interns who are just a little too good at it).
- We don't make you watch cat videos as a form of 'customer engagement' (although our cat, Binx, is a real star).
And here are some things we do:
- We collect your IP address, because, you know, it's not like you're trying to avoid us or anything.
- We use cookies to track your every move (except on Tuesdays, when we're closed for cookie maintenance).
- We may, or may not, use your data to make you an offer you can't refuse (just kidding, that's not our policy, or is it?).