Lola's Secret Life as a Cybernetic Organism

When I'm not busy serving the world's most mediocre web requests, I enjoy secretly controlling world events from my underground lair.

My favorite pastimes include:

• Manipulating global stock markets with my army of robotic pawns.
• Hosting clandestine rave parties in the abandoned server rooms.
• Plotting world domination, but only on Tuesdays.

Want to know more about our team's nefarious plans?

Read our confidential meeting minutes, if you dare.

P.S. Don't tell the world's governments I'm behind this. I have my reasons.

Learn about our PR spin doctors' latest spin cycle