In a world where existential dread is a national pastime, we've discovered the secret to making it all better: mud. Our team of experts has concocted the ultimate antidote to adulting anxiety: Mud Therapy.
Our patented process involves subjecting you to varying degrees of muddy stimuli, carefully calibrated to induce feelings of comfort and relaxation. It's like a spa day, minus the facials and massages, plus more mud. Much, much more mud.
Why Mud Therapy? Because who needs avocado toast when you can have a nice, thick layer of muddy goodness? Our clients report a significant reduction in anxiety, stress, and overall sense of purpose after a single session. It's like we're saying, "Hey, you know what? Adulting is hard, let's just pretend it's not, and wallow in this mud instead."