Warning: Do not attempt to use these techniques on your spouse, roommate, or in-laws. They will never speak to you again.
Marvin the Mindreader's patented Mind Melding Techniques are the most powerful, the most feared, and the most utterly useless methods of controlling the minds of those around you.
Disclaimer: Results not guaranteed. Side effects may include: loss of friends, family, and sanity. Use at your own risk!