John, The Mastermind

John is the operations team's de facto leader, known for his unorthodox methods and questionable leadership skills. His motto: "If it works, we do it again."

Operational Highlights

We've had the pleasure of working with John on:

• The Great Coffee Breakdown of 2023: John's attempt to brew an entire coffee shop's worth of coffee in a single pot.
• The 2022 Christmas Cookie Heist: John's unauthorized use of company funds to buy 500 pounds of sugar cookies.
• The infamous 2019 "Let's just use Google Maps" incident: John's reliance on a 10-year-old GPS system.