John, The Mastermind
John is the operations team's de facto leader, known for his unorthodox methods and questionable leadership skills. His motto: "If it works, we do it again."
Read John's Success Stories
See John's Decision-Making Techniques in Action
Operational Highlights
We've had the pleasure of working with John on:
- The Great Coffee Breakdown of 2023: John's attempt to brew an entire coffee shop's worth of coffee in a single pot.
- The 2022 Christmas Cookie Heist: John's unauthorized use of company funds to buy 500 pounds of sugar cookies.
- The infamous 2019 "Let's just use Google Maps" incident: John's reliance on a 10-year-old GPS system.
Read the full story of John's operational exploits