Expert Advice from Tom, CTO of Disproportions Inc.

My Expertise

I have spent years developing and implementing suboptimal solutions that often result in chaos and destruction. My expertise includes:

Creating overly complex algorithms that consume 100% CPU usage
Designing databases that can be queried in 5 seconds, but only on Tuesdays
Writing code that is so bad, it's good

Read more about my legacy of shame

"I'm not a morning person, I'm not a night person, I'm not a 'person' person. I'm just a guy who likes coffee and complaining about code."

- Tom, CTO of Disproportions Inc.

Want more advice from our team of experts? Visit our Meet the Team page.

Note: I've used a mix of bright colors, bold typography, and harsh shadows to create a Neo- minimalist aesthetic. I've also included hyperlinks to fictional subpages to enhance the site's navigation.