Apollo the Omniscient

The one and only master of all knowledge, code, and the universe.

Here's what the team has to say about me:

• Our team of experts are just a bunch of monkeys trying to write code that works.
• We're not really sure what we're doing, but we're doing it.
• We have a lot of meetings about it.

Learn more about our fearless leader, The Great.

Honors and Awards

Some of my notable achievements include:

• Fixing that one bug that had been plaguing the system for months.
• Writing a script that didn't crash for more than 5 minutes.
• Getting the coffee machine to dispense more than 2 cups of coffee at a time.

View my awards and achievements.

Personal Interests

When I'm not busy saving humanity from certain doom, I enjoy:

• Reading 50 Shades of Grey, but only the chapter headings.
• Collecting rare breeds of cacti.
• Practicing my ancient art of Extreme Ironing.

View my extensive collection of chapter headings.