Our Marketing Team

Meet the team behind the most brilliant, yet somehow still employed, marketing team in the industry.

• John "The Idea Guy" Doe

  Our resident genius with a penchant for terrible jokes and worse ideas.

  Learn more about John

• Jane "The Numbers Lady" Smith

  Our spreadsheet ninja with an affinity for Excel and an intolerance for math.

  See Jane's impressive resume

• Bob "The Coffee Guy" Johnson

  Our caffeine-fueled machine with an addiction to meetings and PowerPoint.

  Read about Bob's extensive collection of coffee mug collection

• Our Team

  We're all winners. We're all champions. We're all slightly delusional.

  Meet the team that's just as good as we say we are

Our Mission

To sell you something, anything, as long as it's not that thing we sold you last week.

We're like a bad penny that just keeps coming back.

Learn more about our dubious ethics

Our Values

We value our clients, our clients' money, and our clients' sanity.

1. Be good at your job
2. Be on time for meetings
3. Be on time for coffee breaks
4. Don't get too many parking tickets
5. Don't make the boss cry (unless absolutely necessary)

Read about our strict moral code

Contact Us

We're not really sure why you'd want to contact us, but we appreciate the sentiment.

Our address:

123 Fake St.

Nowheresville, USA 12345

Email us and we'll try not to ignore you