Welcome to Squonk's Injury Report, where the world's most epic mishaps and accidents are documented in all their gory detail. Our fearless leader, Squonk, has had her fair share of bumps, bruises, and burns. Here's a brief rundown of the most memorable incidents:
Squonk was attempting to launch a chunk of gouda from a catapult in her backyard when it ricocheted off a garden gnome and struck her in the face. Witnesses report she was left with a gash on her cheek that required 17 stitches.
In a daring attempt to "get creative" with a DIY sink installation, Squonk ended up jamming her hand in the faucet. She claims it was an "inspiration" for her next artistic project, but experts say it was just plain silly.
While attempting to create the world's largest disco ball, Squonk got too close to the glittery sphere and ended up with a face full of sparkly shards. The incident left her seeing spots for weeks.
Read more about Squonk's recovery process
And that's not all, folks! Squonk's Injury Report is constantly updated with new and exciting entries. Stay tuned for more thrilling tales of woe and catastrophe!
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