Behold, our most ambitious project yet: the Chronocyclic Doll! A doll that can recite the entirety of "War and Peace" in 30 seconds or less.
Using cutting-edge technology and a dash of magic, the Chronocyclic Doll is capable of reciting Tolstoy's magnum opus in record time. It's like having a personal Russian literature professor, but with more hair gel.
Other notable inventions include: