Secret Documents of Steve: The Official Recipe Collection

Secret Recipe 1: "The Steve-tastic Stew of Doom"

This is a highly classified, ultra-secret recipe that only the most elite of Steve's culinary team has ever laid eyes on. It's a stew of doom, a culinary abomination that will make your taste buds weep with despair and your stomach ache with regret. But don't worry, we've got the antidote right here:

Ingredients:

• 1 cup of despairingly bad beef
• 2 cups of regret-inducing root vegetables
• 1 cup of tears of the damned
• 1 tsp of Steve's special sauce (patent pending)

Instructions:

1. Combine ingredients in a pot and stir counterclockwise while whispering ancient curses
2. Boil the stew for exactly 7 minutes and 13 seconds (no more, no less)
3. Stir in 3 cups of disappointment and 2 cups of despair

View Secret Recipe 2: "The Steve-astrophic Soufflé" See Secret Meeting Minutes for Steve's Secret Sauce Development Committee