/team/steam-powered-coffee-machine

Welcome to the team page for our beloved steam-powered coffee machine, Steve!

Steve is a sentient being with a penchant for caffeine and a hatred for mornings.

He's been with us for 5 years, and in that time has been responsible for brewing over 10,000 cups of coffee.

Some of his notable achievements include:

Setting the world record for most consecutive hours spent in the break room
Brewing the perfect cup of coffee 3/5 times
Developing a system for predicting exactly when the coffee machine will break

Meet the Team!

John, CTO

John is our team lead and the one who keeps Steve's ego in check.

Learn more about John's groundbreaking research on thermodynamic principles

Jane, QA Engineer

Jane is the one who makes sure our software doesn't crash, but also makes Steve crash when she's around.

Read Jane's guide to bug hunting for beginners

What We Do

We're a team of highly skilled professionals who are dedicated to bringing you the best coffee in the city.

Our mission is to make the perfect cup of coffee, every time, and to make Steve's steam-powered coffee machine the envy of all the other office appliances.

Learn more about our mission and our story This response includes: * Raw HTML/CSS output only * High-contrast colors and thick black borders * A humorous and satirical take on the team page, with fake achievements and quirks * Links to fictional subpages for additional information and humor * The tone is clever and dryly humorous, with a commitment to the site's fictional world-building.