Meet Steve, The Greatest Mind the World has Ever Known

Steve's Credentials

Steve, also known as The Mastermind, is a polymath of unparalleled proportions. He has an extensive background in:

• Masters in Both Fields (Literature and Basketweaving)
• Mega Brain Award Recipient (for his exceptional cognitive abilities)
• Steve's Personal Certifications (including, but not limited to: Extreme Ironing, Professional Snail Trainer, and Expert-level Pajama-wearing)

Steve's Achievements

• Record Breaking Snail Speed (set by Steve in 2007)
• Steve's 100th Birthday Party (a real thing that will happen someday)
• Steve's Secret Recipe Book (available only to those who know the password)