- Won 4 consecutive Golden Sausage Awards for Best Sausage Juggling
- Broke 10 minutes on the 400-meter Sausage-Eating Record
- Invented the Sausage-Whisperer, a device capable of whispering 'you're doing it wrong' to his coworkers
- Was once spotted juggling 7 sausages while reciting the entirety of Hamlet from memory