Monday
Spent 8 hours staring at spreadsheets, wondering where it all went wrong.
Conquered 3 cups of coffee, 2 donuts, and 1 existential crisis.
Tuesday
Attended a meeting that lasted 3 hours, but only lasted 3 minutes in my brain.
Discovered the secret to making the stapler on my desk play 'La Cucaracha' when you press the button.
Wednesday
Ate 5 more donuts, but only 4 were for breakfast.
Learned how to use the copier to make origami animals.
Thursday
Tried to explain the concept of 'synergy' to the intern, and failed.
Accidentally stapled my shoe to the conference table.
Friday
Spent 2 hours trying to get the microwave to work, but gave up.
Decided to just eat cold pizza for the rest of the month.