faking-responsibility: Technique 9

Also known as "The Classic Cop-out", this technique is a masterclass in creative blame-shifting.

Steps:

Blame it on the system: "It's not my fault, it's the system's fault."
Blame it on the weather: "I'm sorry, I'm just having a bad weather day."
Blame it on the dog (or cat): "I'm late because my pet ate my homework... again."
Blame it on the internet: "I'm sorry, I was searching for the answer online and it was wrong."
Blame it on the previous person: "I'm sorry, I was following orders from my boss's boss's boss."
Blame it on a fictional illness: "I'm sorry, I was suffering from a rare case of Sudden Onset Procrastination Syndrome."

And remember, if all else fails, just blame it on the cat.