The Absurd Absorption Method is a radical approach to towel-napping. It's a bit unorthodox, but hey, when the stakes are high and your towel is in danger, you've got to think outside the box. Or, in this case, the box is actually a giant, flamingo-pink rectangle with a fondness for bad 80s rock music.
To execute this technique, first you must don a pair of your finest, most absorbent pants. Yes, pants. You heard me right. Pants are key. They're like a sponge, but with more seams and less water retention.
Next, you must locate a suitable surface to nap your towel on. Ideally, something like a giant, inflatable flamingo, or at the very least, a large, wobbly pile of Jell-O. The more unstable the surface, the better. It's like a towel-nap seesaw, baby!
Now, place your absorbent pants over your towel, ensuring maximum coverage. The goal is to create a kind of... well, a kind of towel-nap-sponge-thingy. The more you absorb, the more you'll be able to nap.
As you nap, remember to stay focused. Visualize the towel, absorb it, and then... ZZZ. Ah, the sweet release of towel-nap-induced somnolence.
For more advanced towel-napping techniques, visit Technique 7: The Inflatable Insouciance