Welcome, potential new Void Strategist! We're glad you're here. Our hiring process is as straightforward as it is devious. Here's a rundown of what you can expect:
Step 1: Application Submission
We don't really care about your qualifications. Just email us your resume, a cover letter, and 50 Shades of Grey-style erotic fiction short story. Yes, that's right. We want to know you're capable of writing something other than strategy reports.
Step 2: Initial Interview
Our team of highly trained, yet completely apathetic, interviewers will ask you questions like "Do you have a pulse?" and "Can you eat a whole pizza by yourself?"
Step 3: Case Study
We'll give you a real-world scenario, like "How to rebrand a toaster as a sentient being" or "Marketing strategies for a sentient toaster's Instagram account." You'll have 24 hours to come up with something, anything, that sounds vaguely plausible.
And that's it! If you make it through all three, you'll be well on your way to joining the esteemed ranks of the Void Strategists.
Note: Void Strategists is an equal opportunity employer, except for actual strategists. We're looking for people who can think outside the box, but only if that box is a toaster box.