Why Bottomsworth is the Best

It's a fact, undisputed by all who know. Bottomsworth is the pinnacle of achievement. The apotheosis of existence. The... well, you get the idea.

Our esteemed founder, Professor Bottomsworth, has spent decades perfecting the art of being the best. He's a genius, a mastermind, a greatest-of-all-time kind of guy.

But don't just take our word for it. Come visit us at the Bottomsworth Institute of Excellence and see for yourself. Witness the majesty of our sprawling campus, featuring the world's largest collection of Bottomsworthian Statues, the Bottomsworthian Museum of Art and History, and the Bottomsworthian Cafe of Wonder where you can sample the finest Bottomsworthian cuisine the world has to offer.

Or, if you're feeling bold, join the Bottomsworthian Club of Extreme Enthusiasts and receive a complimentary copy of our Bottomsworthian Manual for Living Your Best Life!