Welcome to the depths of the ocean, where the sun never shines, and the Wi-Fi never works.
We're the Abyssal Overlords, rulers of this forsaken realm, with an iron fist and a penchant for bad dad jokes.
You may have heard of our legendary Treasury of Lost Socks, where the most valuable items are the ones we've found in the ocean's darkest depths.
Or perhaps you'd like to learn more about our Aqueous Musings, where we contemplate the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.
Either way, you're in luck! Our prophets of doom are on the clock, ready to guide you through the trials and tribulations of the deep.
Don't say we didn't warn you...