Q: What is the Abyssal Curse?
A mysterious and ancient affliction, rumored to be caused by excessive consumption of seafood
Q: How do I contract the Abyssal Curse?
Eating too many fish sticks, failing a pop quiz on 'The History of Underwater Basketweaving,' or simply being born on a Tuesday
Q: What are the symptoms of the Abyssal Curse?
- Excessive burping of the deep
- Uncontrollable craving for calamari
- Feeling of being watched by unseen, judgmental cephalopods
Q: Is there a cure for the Abyssal Curse?
No, but there's a 50% chance it will spontaneously lift on a leap year during a full moon. Or you can try our treatment options
Q: What are some related topics?