Our dormitories are a labyrinthine nightmare of bureaucratic red tape and inefficiency. But hey, at least the vending machines are fully stocked with stale granola bars.
Don't even get us started on the noise policy. You'll be lucky if you're not woken up by the sound of our esteemed Dean of Students' cat, Mr. Whiskers, practicing his clarinet at 3am.
Fire drill? What fire drill? Oh wait, that's just the sound of the custodian taking out the trash. Again.
Want to learn more about our dormitories?
Take the tour to see for yourself the thrilling world of bureaucracy!