Strap Theory 9000

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Welcome to the pinnacle of human understanding

Where the art of holding things is elevated to an existential plane

Strap Theory 9000 is the definitive treatise on the human experience of grasping, holding, and being held. A comprehensive guide for those seeking to transcend the mundane and achieve a higher level of being.

Our research has led us to the conclusion that the human experience can be distilled into three core principles:

Explore these and other profound concepts within our extensive library of strap-based thought experiments.

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try our Quantum Strap feature, where the very fabric of reality is held hostage to your every whim.