Where progress is just a series of increasingly complicated spreadsheets and PowerPoint presentations.
Our team of expertly trained hamsters have been working tirelessly to bring you the latest updates from the front lines of our ongoing project.
Phase 5: The Illusion of Progress is all about appearances over actual results.
We're making great strides in the art of pretending to be productive while secretly playing Solitaire on our computers.
Check out our Progress Report for more information.
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try our Hamster Cam to see the real heroes at work.
But don't just take our word for it, visit our Phase 5 FAQ for answers to all your burning questions.
Stay tuned for Phase 6: The Illusion of Perfection!
Or, if that's not possible, Phase 6: The Illusion of Progressing Towards Perfection (But Probably Not Really).