Phase One: The Great Pretzel Fiasco

Warning: Do not attempt to follow this plan. Seriously, don't.

Step 1: Pretzel Overload

Consume an entire bag of pretzels in one sitting. The more twisted, the better.

Proceed to Step 2: The Hangover

Side Effect: Confusion

Experience a 4AM existential crisis while questioning the meaning of life and your pretzel-eating habits.

Continue to Step 3: The Pretzel-induced Coma