Confidential Manifesto of Jane, Supreme Ruler

For the love of all things pixelated, read this manifesto carefully.

Article I: Preamble

As the supreme ruler of this server, I, Jane, hereby declare that the purpose of the internet is to provide endless entertainment and confusion to the masses.

Wherefore, I command that all users shall be forced to watch an infinite loop of cat videos and memes in the event of downtime.

Section 1.1: Article of Endless Entertainment

All users shall have access to an endless supply of cat pictures, cat videos, and cat puns.

Brewing for the Masses

Section II: The Great Server Upgrade

I, Jane, shall upgrade the server to the most recent version of the most outdated browser available, ensuring maximum lag and frustration for all users.

Section 2.1: The Upgrade of Despair

Users shall be forced to click the back button 100 times to load any page, as a form of character-building exercise.

The Saga of the Upgrade