NOTICE OF IMPERATIVE IMPORTANCE

This is not a drill. Repeat. This is NOT a drill. You have been alerted to the presence of something of great import.

It is our pleasure to inform you that the coffee machine in the break room has been restocked with the finest artisanal, small-batch, imported coffee beans. Do not approach the machine without first consulting the Coffee Ombudsman.

Learn more about the Coffee Ombudsman

CONFIRMATION OF IMPERATIVE IMPORTANCE:

As a valued member of this esteemed organization, you are hereby confirmed to have received this message. Your understanding and cooperation are greatly appreciated.