John's Consulting Firm

Expertise

We offer expert advice on:

• How to eat an entire pizza by yourself
• Proven methods for procrastinating on important tasks
• Advanced techniques for playing video games for 12 hours straight

Consulting Packages

Choose from our competitively-priced packages:

• Package 1: "Get Rich Quick" ($100)
• Package 2: "Procrastination Masterclass" ($200)
• Package 3: "The works" ($500)