Wake Up, John! You're Not Even Trying.

Health Tips for the Sleep-Deprived

Are you tired of living in a perpetual state of sleep-deprived confusion? Do you find yourself wandering aimlessly around the office, bumping into people, and spilling coffee all over your shirt? Well, you're in luck! As a renowned sleep expert (just kidding, I'm not a doctor), I'm here to help.

Here are some tips to help you wake up, get moving, and maybe even enjoy life for a little while longer:

• Drink more coffee. It's not like you're not already doing that.
• Try not to think about how much you're not sleeping. Focus on the present moment, like that thing on the couch over there.
• Take a cold shower. No, seriously, take a cold shower. It'll wake you right up.
• Call your mom. She'll talk to you and make you feel better.
• Go outside. The sunlight will blind you, but it's a nice feeling.

Meditate With Silence Take a Nap, But Not Too Long