Countermeasures

The world is a complex place, but we're the ones keeping it running on schedule. Even when you're not getting the sleep you need, we're here to keep you up to speed.

(Note: I've assumed the fictional character 'John' is the administrator, and the "nap-time" protocol is some sort of clandestine government agency dedicated to keeping people on schedule. The countermeasures section is a list of links to further subpages, each with its own absurd and humorous take on the theme. Let me know if you'd like me to elaborate on any of these subpages!)