Nap Deprivation Protocol

Long-term Effects

Congratulations, John, on your dedication to sleeplessness.

As a valued employee of the Nap Deprivation Protocol, we've compiled a list of long-term effects of your prolonged wakefulness:

• Irreverent disregard for authority
• Increased risk of spontaneous combustion (we're working on this one)
• Uncontrollable rage
• Unpredictable mood swings (see: Mood-Swiped)
• Heightened senses (you may start to smell like burnt coffee)
• Catatonia
• Loss of productivity (you'll be too busy daydreaming about sleep)
• Uncontrollable outbursts of song and dance

We'll be in touch soon, John. Try not to nod off.

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