EXIT STRATEGY HEADQUARTERS

Welcome, John! You've reached the most secure location on the server.

As an esteemed member of the management team, we're pleased to provide you with the following exit strategy options:

Option 1: The Classic Abandon-Ship

Leave your desk, your colleagues will never notice you're gone.

Option 2: The Sudden Departure

Just walk out the door, and don't look back. We won't tell anyone you were here.

Option 3: The Fake Meeting

Call an emergency meeting, cancel it, and leave without saying a word. The perfect exit strategy for the truly dramatic.

Or, you know what? Just leave a note.

We'll understand.