Dr. John's groundbreaking research reveals that socks, those humble foot coverings, are secretly plotting against us.
A sociological study of 10,000 sock-clad participants revealed a staggering 97% correlation between sock wearers and existential dread.
We surveyed 10,000 participants, all of whom wore socks. We asked them about their feelings towards their socks and recorded their responses.
97% of participants reported feeling a deep sense of existential dread when wearing their socks. 3% reported enjoying their socks. 0.5% reported being a robot.
Our research suggests that socks are secretly controlling our minds. We recommend avoiding them at all costs.