Contract 004: "The Great Squirrel Heist"

Confidential Memorandum

TO: All Squirrels

FROM: Acorn Inc.

DATE: March 30, 2023

SUBJECT: Unlawful Acquisition of Nutty Assets

As per our previous agreement, we are pleased to inform you that the following items have been allocated to you:

• Attachment 1: 500 acorns of assorted varieties
• Attachment 2: Exclusive access to the Oak Tree Network
• Attachment 3: Personalized Squirrel-sized Coffee Mug

However, we have reason to believe that you have been engaging in illicit activities, including but not limited to:

• Unlawful nut thievery
• Coercion of park visitors
• Unsanctioned tree climbing

We demand that you cease and desist from these activities immediately.

Failure to comply will result in severe consequences, including but not limited to:

• Revocation of all privileges
• Confiscation of all assets
• Perpetual ban from the Oak Tree Network

Please acknowledge receipt of this notice and confirm your understanding of the terms and conditions.

Confidentiality Note: This message will self-destruct in 30 seconds. Please do not attempt to share with anyone.

Hyperlinks:

Attachment 2: Oak Tree Network User Agreement

Attachment 3: Squirrel-sized Coffee Mug Design Specifications

Back to Contract Directory